Sometimes, the most urgent and vital thing you can possibly do is take a complete rest
Ashleigh Brilliant
I know that I said I wasn't going to write about anything personal any more, but today I need to. Call it therapy.
Like Sooze, I don't need advice, just to vent.
This year has been difficult in terms of my health, and I'm currently on course number 7 of antibiotics after a virus knocked me off my feet last week and developed into a secondary chest infection for the second time this year. It's a huge worry for me in terms of both antibiotic resistance and the ME/CFS.
1st week of January... co-amoxiclav after
dental surgery
8th January... clarythromycin for sinusitis
17th February ... amoxicillin for chest infection
4th March... nitrofurantoin for cystitis
7th March ... cefalexin for pyelonephritis
29th April ... amoxicillin for dental implant surgery
22nd May ... amoxicillin for chest infection
Yesterday, the doctor advised me that, as difficult as it is, I must rest, as my immune system is battered and needs to recover.
He's right, but that's easier said than done.
On Wednesday I dragged myself, fully masked so I didn't pass anything on, to my mum's to read her gas and electricity meters, then pay the bills, sort her house insurance and pay it, and then meet for the second time with a man from the council who has been helping us in terms of things to assist with her sight.
Last night I sat in the arbour at the bottom of the garden to escape from our toddler's screaming meltdown and could still hear them. I put on my playlist from the handfasting to drown them out and wept.
Yesterday I'd just got in from the doctor's when my mum rang. It's a rare event and I thought it might just be to ask how I am.
Silly me.
It was just to tell me that I needed to order and collect her meds as she's running out. She also needs me to do some shopping.
Me and my husband haven't had a full week away together since May 2019. We haven't had a full week alone together at home since November 2023 and didn't have one for most of 2019, and all of 2020 or 2021 either.
I can't remember the last time I was alone in the house, something that I crave.
My beautiful ( to me), tidy house, is no longer beautiful or tidy.
Most of the time things are fine, and I can cope, but I'm at a low ebb, and right now, it all feels too much and that it's absolutely relentless.
That's a lot of antibiotics, which will be playing havoc with your gut microbes. Can you eat some live yogurt? I hear you and empathise, Scarlet....it's hard, very hard, when so much of our lives are taken up with things we need to do for others, because we're the only ones who can. Our own mental and physical health needs get pushed out, there's no time for that. And we get taken for granted. Xx
ReplyDeleteBloody hell lass you must rattle like a tin of hard beans with all that medication!
ReplyDeleteI know how feel about the need for a break from all the crap life throws one’s way Scarlet, tis the very reason myself and G are down here in Cornwall on our first proper holiday together in almost a decade. I have come to realise that one has to be selfish upon occasion and make time for yourself, however hard it may be. The ability to reset and breathe away from all that crowds your life should not be a want but a necessity my dear, without it I found myself hitting the depths and neither use nor ornament to my wonderful G nor ought else for that matter. Sorry for the rambling comment lass but please try and breathe once in a while, it feeds the soul.
I'm sorry and just hope others realize and can just figure things out for themselves at least for a bit, and give you solitude. I understand that's not likely from what you describe.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry! I can understand you needing to vent. I'm in a similar situation, which at times is just too overwhelming.
ReplyDeleteNo advice - just sympathy and good wishes
ReplyDeleteEchoing the comment above to send sympathy and good wishes. All my now adult children and myself need regular/ what we call - introvert time. I live alone and therefore can make a decision each day on whether I need to go out and see people or not. It would be very hard to not have time and space.
ReplyDeleteSorry you’re feeling like this, sending sympathy and good wishes too x
ReplyDelete