I'm so used to feeling exhausted, in pain and wobbly that I just carried on... until last week I couldn't. I was too weak to stand, nauseous, dizzy and in pain.
My vitamin D level is deficient, and as a consequence so is my phosphate level. My B12 is close to being at deficient levels and I already have symptoms from that... a scalloped tongue, forgetfulness, difficulty understanding things, exhaustion and an inability to walk in a straight line are just a few. I'm still 34 points away from B12 deficiency so I'm going to have to try to treat it myself. I've bought the highest strength tablets I can find.
I've agonised about it being self inflicted due to the ED, but have tried to tell myself that's a mental illness, and that I am trying to get better. I've been eating chicken, ham, salmon, eggs, dairy and fortified cereals for over a year. Obviously, together with the multivitamin I've been taking, it hasn't been enough, as both levels have dropped dramatically since I was referred to the ED service 2 years ago.
Feeling nauseous and having no appetite isn't helping the ED as it's impossible to force food down when I feel so sick.
Despite feeling as I do, I took my mum to a hospital appointment on Friday morning, a medical appointment on Monday that involved picking her up at 7.30 am, and another this morning. My husband drove on Friday and Monday, but I had no choice but to go as I know all about her medical problems and he doesn't. I have to attend, explain things and advocate for her. I returned home exhausted, and slept for hours. Yesterday I looked after the little one, sadly doing the minimum possible. I can't dance or play energetic games at the moment, so I was glad when their daddy returned from a 4.30am start, and their mummy finished work.
Tomorrow I have to do my mum's shopping, and sort out 3 things that arose from today's appointment. I haven't had chance to have a sleep today and my eyelids are beginning to feel heavy so I don't think I'll see much of the TV this evening.
I did manage to cut myself some flowers this afternoon to brighten up the room...
You're truly the sandwich generation which means you have so little left for yourself. I hope your self infused Vitamin D will help a bit. Just sending my hugs and to let you know you're being heard.
ReplyDeleteThanks for hearing me SAM. I've got a prescription for mega doses of the vitamin D, but am self medicating the B12 as I'm not quite at the level that's considered deficient for that, despite it having fallen by 450 points. Five years ago I never imagined life would be as it is, though of course my trials are nothing compared to yours. Xx
DeleteWe all have our own trials to carry, and yours are certainly not less significant. I'm not dealing with health issues at the moment, elder and managing the medical care for another or child care. True though, five years ago the world was figuring out how to live with a health crisis, but I never thought I'd be alone on the other side of it.
DeleteYou have so much on your plate and are being pulled in all directions. I hope you get some relief soon.
ReplyDeleteThanks Joan. I'd like to think that will happen, but in all honesty, it's unlikely any time soon, which scares me.
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