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| August's appointments. I've only got 3 pencilled in for September so far. |
I managed to cross a few things off the list today.
I was outside the hairdresser at 8.40am and was first in the queue. It's a walk in salon that I used to go to pre covid, but my hairdresser went overseas, and although she recommended a couple of her colleagues I never went back.
A hairdresser there has had rave reviews so I went. Having had her cut my hair, I can attest that her reviews are well deserved.
I got my coffee in peace and quiet... all the better as it was a free one after collecting enough stamps on my card to earn it.
I've tidied and dusted my bedroom and treated all of the teak furniture. I've cleaned the window and vacuumed but ran out of time to finish everything as I needed to go to pick up my mum. Tomorrow, I'll wash the walls, woodwork and floor, repaint the door, and touch up anything that needs it... it hasn't been done since we scuffed things taking furniture up there earlier this year, and it's getting on my nerves, as is much of the house.
It's one appointment down and one to go for my mum this week. The next one will involve navigating the traffic heading to the hospital and at least a dozen educational establishments in the neighbourhood. Today has been bad enough, having to drive through town in heavy traffic, something I hate.
I didn't even get a thank you.
Undervalued and unappreciated as usual.
The urge to binge and purge is strong.
I guess not expecting appreciation is the only way to get through it. I know older people get like that, but I remember this has always been your mom's pattern.
ReplyDeleteThanks SAM. Most of the time I can ignore it but today it bothered me. I'm at a bit of a low ebb I think.
DeleteValue yourself first and foremost but I know how soul destroying it is not to be appreciated by a mother. My mother’s favourite child emigrated and left me to do everything from her diagnosis to her death. I held down a very responsible job throughout and never let anyone but my husband know how I felt. Catriona
ReplyDeleteThanks Catriona. Im sorry that you know how it feels. I've found it nigh on impossible to value myself recently, which has made life very difficult. Nobody knows the full extent of it as I'm an expert at masking. I'm one of four but as things stand I'm an only child... it's complicated!
DeleteAt our age, diaries and calendars seem to be full of medical appointments (our own or for others) leaving very little time for fun - we are definitely the sandwich generation!
ReplyDeleteI have a feeling there's going to be very little time for fun for the foreseeable, and very little opportunity to be on my own, which may well drive me mad.
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