Saturday 6th June
We've been at the caravan since last Friday night (29th May). It's the longest we have spent here and it has been good for us. My husband has slept until 9 most days and until 10am on a couple of occasions.
He's been so busy/ stressed since he retired, with all of my operations and visits to hospital aswell as taking over all the things I normally do, and then the car being hit.
I've still been very tired but my appetite is returning and my legs are less wobbly.
In an effort to have a complete rest I saw my mum on Friday before we left and did her shopping, read her meters, paid her bills, and posted something for her, but then didn't ring her until Wednesday.
She is very much akin to a dementor from the Harry Potter books, sucking the joy from things, and sometimes I just don't have the headspace for her negativity. The only thing that seems to bring her joy is my grandchild but even that is tinged with moody jealousy because of the close relationship I have with them.
Of course, when I did ring her she had been oh so ill. Probably a chest infection, she said in an accusatory tone ( she has COPD). I'm wise to it now. She's ill every time I don't ring for a few days. 'Not bad enough for you to ring me to arrange a doctor's appointment for you though' I replied.
She tried to brush it off by saying she just kept thinking every day that she'd be better. I rang her again yesterday and, miraculously, she is so much better.
We've done very little since we've been here... a bit of pottering in the garden, sitting in the sun on the deck with a blanket over me because there's been a cold wind, reading, watching documentaries, listening to the radio, crosswords (me), Sudoku (him), a couple of visits to charity shops and a secondhand bookshop, and a few coffees out.
I made a curry in the slo cooker yesterday and baked some scones today... things are looking up if I'm in the kitchen. I rarely cook or bake these days, but I enjoyed the chickpea curry for tea yesterday and today.
The car repairs have been approved. I have no idea if he's accepted liability or not but the car is being collected on Tuesday. I have an appointment about my mouth the following week at the hospital further away. We've decided against having a hire car as we can get a bus there if our car isn't back with us.
It's a bit of a trek, taking an hour to get there, but there's a £3 cap on fares and the bus stops outside the hospital so it's convenient. For me, that's preferable to worrying about damage to a hire car, or being left liable for charges if he refuses to accept he is responsible for the damage to our car, just because there was minimal damage to his.
We'll have to stock up on shopping for my mum on Monday before the car goes, and the little one can walk to the childminder ... it's good practice for walking to school and they've done it before while we've been away. I can get shopping delivered if I need to. We won't be able to get to the caravan but I wouldn't have wanted to use a hire car to get here anyway.
And that's about it. I'm feeling a lot better and am now able to chew a bit.
Maybe 10 nights away has been just what I needed... we haven't even had 7 nights away together since 2019.
It was time to put ourselves first.
That's marvellous Scarlet, so good to hear you sounding much more positive. Yes I'm sure the time away at your caravan has done you both a whole heap of good xx
ReplyDeleteIt did us the world of good. It's a shame we had to come back to yet more aggro with my mother. At least the little one was overjoyed to see us. They ran and jumped into my arms shouting 'Grandma', then did the same to J.
DeleteSo pleased to hear that you're feeling better, the time in the caravan is better than any medicine!
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately it was short lived Joan. My mother has managed to drag my mood down. I do my best not to allow that, but occasionally it happens. I just want to scream.
DeleteI'm so sorry to hear that, yet I know it's impossible for you to just walk away.
DeleteThanks Joan. You'd think she'd be more appreciative really, but she is frequently awful. I understand that she's fed up because she can't do what she wants anymore due to age/ health, but I had to deal with that at 43, not 86 like she was when she began to have problems. I find it hard to sympathise with someone who has never been sympathetic to me.
DeleteIt's absolutely time for you and J to be each other's first. Oh, your mom is doing her darndest to be difficult, but I'm pleased to read you're not letting her push your limits.
ReplyDeleteI've just got back from her house. I had to go because she wasn't answering her phone. I am sick of telling her to carry it round with her. She said, 'What's the point if you're in Wales?' Like I'm the only person who can deal with things. Good enough for that, but not good enough for her to leave her house to ( I've known about that for several years) despite me doing everything. I left with more admin and a shopping list. I will not be catching a bus to do her shopping whilst the car is being repaired. Absolutely sick of it. Those 10 days of peace evaporated quickly.
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